The Checklist

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

-Robert A. Heinlein

All humans should be able to level a Magikarp to a Gyarados, identify the difference between a Voltorb and an Electrode, and beat Whitney’s Miltank in a Nuzlocke run. Maybe not the last part. Points for knowing what a Nuzlocke run is!

Oh, Heinlein. I can’t do half of that shit, and I can only write a sonnet if you’re willing to excuse some fucking terrible liberties with the English language. How often does any of this come up?

Here’s my list: bandage a wound, research basic shit, negotiate public transit, follow current events, read, write coherently, handle their banking, cook meals that include protein and vegetables, understand and use contraceptives, launder their own clothes, manage their hygiene, speak adequately, listen well. Bonus points for being able to walk a few miles, sew a button and do basic household maintenance.

Not everybody can do everything, but you know… points for effort.


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